There’s little doubt that the advent of dating apps and online dating in general has been a wonderful thing. Sure, it’s not all without risks. But overall, the dating world revolutionized into a much more inclusive space. For many, it’s easier to meet likeminded people who share similar goals in life, or beliefs in the world. Dating apps push the critical components, such as kids, alcohol consumption, and age, to the forefront helping to eliminate those who don’t work.
But still, dating apps get misused frequently. Let’s change that.
Here are some things you can do that will help make your dating app story have a romantic ending.
Be Honest (But Don’t Overshare)
In our opening, we pointed out that one of the benefits to dating apps was that it lent transparency at a much more optimal rate. Before dating apps, you learned that your love interests really loved camping on the third date. You hate camping. You’d never camp. Dating apps allow us to categorize ourselves, thereby, attracting people with similar likes or dispositions. The ability to download a free dating app and, well, become a different person, even unintentionally, is a little too convenient.
So, it would make sense to approach your dating app profile with honesty. In other words, be yourself!
Put the actual things you love to do. Don’t put things you think other people want to hear. The world is a massive place, there are lots of people who share your interests. A dating app is your opportunity to discover them. But you can’t do that if you put that you love hiking because everyone else puts that they love hiking. How many people really love hiking or long walks on the beach? Eeek to sand in my car! Nothing bothers me more than sand!
On that note, don’t overshare, at least for safety reasons. Your bank account isn’t part of who you are as a person, neither is your birthdate, middle name, or the name of the first street you lived on. Not that you would list all of that on a dating app bio, this is more a warning in case someone ask these questions of you. Be smart. Be safe.
Quality Beats Quantity
In the dating app world, we almost all have to learn a shared lesson. That lesson is that meeting quality people is more impactful than meeting lots of people.
But alas, we all end up trying the spray method.
We flirt with lots and lots of people without examining their bio to any meaningful extent. We hope that given enough options, we’ll find the right person.
But instead, we end up wasting hours and days of time messaging people whom it will never work out with. We sit through substance-less dates with cringe people.
We get caught up in drama loops we aren’t built for.
Dating apps are designed to help connect people who share interests. When you use a dating app devoid of this concept, you end up in a myriad of ‘go nowhere’ time wastes. Not to mention it opens you up to scam artists looking to con you.
You don’t need to look at someone’s dating profile in the same way you would deciding on a surgery. We’re only suggesting you take some time to read through the bio and come to some basic conclusions. I mean, if you’re reading this article, you’re quite capable of reading through a dating app profile.
Finding meaningful connections, whether friends or more, means taking the time to connect. And that process begins with your attentiveness and patience.
Just because you aren’t getting responses doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Lots of people will find only a few profiles they prefer, message them, and when they don’t get a response, they go for the mass play and start ramping up messaging.
There are many reasons people don’t respond, you aren’t likely always the reason. But in the end, you must realize that person wasn’t right for you. You aren’t helping yourself by creating a connection with someone who isn’t your type.
Really, Really Define “Your Type”
Maybe this section should have been my opener. It’s that important.
We’ve talked about being honest in your profile about what you’re into and who you are. We’ve equally discussed reading other profiles to find people who offer shared interests. So maybe before you do any of this you really need to decide what it is your into in the first place.
Let’s look at this in a different way.
Let’s say you’re a bit of a control freak. You like to choose where dinner will be. You like your house organized in a pretty specific manner.
Do you want to also attract control freaks? Or maybe you want someone who’s easy going and willing to be cool about where dinner is?
The point is, dating apps aren’t an exercise in finding your twin. In some case, potentially politics, maybe that’s the case. Or maybe not? Life’s connections should never amount to exact matches. Our worst roommates would be ourselves, trust me.
If someone is outdoorsy and you aren’t, sure, that could be an issue. If you don’t dig weekend long fishing trips and she does, well, that’s going to be a big gaping hole in the relationship.
The point I’m making is that before you fill out a dating app profile, you should have a conversation with yourself. Consider the friends you hang out with, are they all exact replicas of you? Probably not. Human connections thrive on uniqueness and differences.
Conclusion
First and foremost, be yourself.
Second, you might consider looking for someone not an exact replica of yourself.
Third, don’t “flirt” or instigate connections with lots of people hoping to open up options. You’ll end up in a frustrating drama loop of time-waste.
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